Thursday, May 26, 2005

Eternal Recurrence

YTD: +$31709.81

Well that was interesting.

As it was a year ago, so shall it be again.

Back in my last bad blip, an old pal and sparring buddy, Pete F from 2+2 said I had gone on "winner's tilt". This phrase stuck with me and has some truth in what has happened this month.

I haven't played bad. I haven't played well. Strictly speaking, I have been very, very unlucky. But when you play all your hands like they are made out of titanium, four tables at a time, then you will experience some swings. If I had been swingy-er in the other way, I would have been easily $40k+ on the month. But when you play this way, "winner's tilt" as it were, you start to abdicate so0me decision making that perhaps you would have made before. And this was actually part of your edge.

But all in all, I feel ok. It would have been better to have won and feel ok, but I know the difference was slight and I just need to refocus.

What, if some day or night, a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life, as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh… must return to you—all in the same succession and sequence

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Dave, can you post some of your more interesting hands, either here or on 2+2?

joewatch

OnTilt said...

"Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?... Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?"

You've gone very philosophical lately Dave, I'm amazed at your ability to avoid the gnashing of teeth though I don't think I'll ever achieve that emotional stability towards poker.

You'll be back I'm sure. Are you thiking about playing some holdem for a break?

chaos said...

Well I agree with suggestion to play LHE, it will perhaps freshen you up and may possibly provide an alternative reference point: it may feel like more of a win than just less of a loss if you do well.

Try and look at every punishing defeat as an opportunity to build a stronger immune system. I'm sure you have greater faith in your ability to recover now because of last year's experience.

One of the most depressing aspects of gambling is the sense that you have simply wasted that precious of all things, time, when you are on a bad run. Its tough to try to see the benefit in blowing money that it may have taken you days, weeks, months to build. You can't help but feel 'I'm back to where I was 3 months ago, what a waste of time'.

It's hard to avoid this depressing perspective, but having other goals within and outside of poker helps ease the pain. Skills are for life - the poker player's career is a long one.

Good luck and and remind yourself, as I'm sure you will, that it's just luck and the penny hasn't suddenly dropped on the poker playing masses.

chaos

OnTilt said...

Loathe as I am to add yet more Nietzsche to the situation, Chaos' comments made me think of it "That which does not kill you will only make you stronger."

Big Dave D said...

Chaos and Ontilt,

I tried the holdem thing and I didnt much like it. Besides losing, I just dont enjoy playing it much.

I feel philosophical because I didnt play TOO bad. Just marginal bad. I havent crunched the numbers but Im certain that I lost a lot of hands that could and should have gone the other way.

And if you're looking for an aphorism, no one beats a syphilitic kraut :)

dd

Big Dave D said...

Joewatch,

A lot of the hands were simply not that intersting. Big draws that missed, or sets that didnt stand up. Ho hum. Very rarely was it "drawing next to dead territory".

One thing that did catch me, and still baffles me, is the insanity check raise. This is a failry common situation. Say you bet the flop with a drawing hand ard are raised and then call. On the turn, you hit the nuts, but fear that you are against a live draw like trips. If the pot contains 1 unit and you have say 1.5 units, you should simply bet the pot. Going for a check raise in this spot is insane unless you are 100% certain your foe will bet for you. The risk of giving a free card is too great, and you can't make him pass his hand if the "trap" works anyway. And of course trying this play WITHOUT the nuts is absolute insanity.

And yet this was a play I saw again and again and again. And not in a good $ way either.

gl

Dave

pete fabrizio said...

Maybe you should get a job?

Big Dave D said...

Mr Fab

Petey, I was hoping I could provoke you out of retirement! I would return the compliment and ask you to get a job, but remembering your career path, I wouldnt want to condemn you to that :)

Anyway, for the crowd, as I am sure you remember, I have always had a job. This is just fun.

gl

dd

PS. Dont b a stranger!

Anonymous said...

Keep your chin up Big Dave. Looking forward to following your play at the WSOP. What date will you be playing?

Big Dave D said...

tx for the kind words anon. I sold my seat to the plo event a while back as I couldnt make it owing to work.

cheers

dd

Milkybarkid said...

Dave

It will swing back round again. Maybe you should give the Betfair tables a try? In my opinion the players are worse their than on Party.

I'm sure you will be back over the $60000 mark by the time i get back from Vegas.

I'll sell you 5% in my $10000 PL Omaha if you like? ;-)

Big Dave D said...

Isnt the 10k event a rebuy one? I'm not sure I can afford the multiple 5%s that you are sure to accrue :)

gl mate

Dave

Milkybarkid said...

I hope its not a rebuy... i am sure 2 or 3 rebuys in a 10k event would do wanders for my bankroll!

Big Dave D said...

My bad...I was thinking of the 5k event. Give'm hell mbk!

gl

dd